This is kind of a complex topic but it’s important for me to at least try to get my thoughts on it out there. Hopefully it’s not too confusing. Recently, I read a post (on another blog) about blogs/social media “making someone feel” left out or unworthy, bad about themselves. In the same post the writer claimed responsibility for possibly “making others feel” left out, or unworthy – and then even apologized for it.
A lot of people who left comments agreed with the post; that they too had felt bad about themselves sometimes after reading blogs.
While I understand the idea that presenting perfect vignettes of life on our blogs can be misleading… (nobody’s life is perfect) it does not make anyone feel any certain way. We must all assume responsibility for our own emotions. If I visit a blog and envy that blogger’s style, opportunities, talent or anything else they choose to share with the reader – that’s on me. If I feel that way, and I find that it is detrimental for me to visit that blog… then should I limit my exposure to that site?
OR should I decide WHY I would take someone sharing something seemingly good and have it reflect something is wrong with me, or my life? Why would I internalize something that has NOTHING to do with me? And, what kind of a narcissistic a-hole would I be to assume that what I write here in this miniscule corner of the internet makes anyone feel anything? I post here in this space for myself mostly… and for kindred spirits to take what they will from what I say or do and then DECIDE if it’s helpful, or beautiful, or silly, or just plain wrong. They might even return later to see what I’m up to if they so CHOOSE.
Taking responsibility for our own emotions isn’t some kind of ninja skill or something. It’s just much easier to blame other people for what you said, or how you acted (or reacted)… she made me mad, he made me sad… and if it’s their fault that you feel bad about yourself then you don’t have to fix it – right? That is a terrible trap to find yourself in. I know this because I’ve been through it and still struggle with it sometimes. It’s part of being human.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt