until then

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August is mostly a difficult month for me as far as work goes. It’s the month that the workload picks back up at the day job and it’s the month that I work on a few labor intensive contract jobs. I’m almost at the finish line for the contracts, and I’m very grateful. I’m completely insane at the day job and anxiety keeps creeping up on me. I was told the other day that a referral to a therapist would mean I would not get an appointment until early November. I laughed, reflexively, at the scheduler – poor woman.

That was super awkward.

The grief over losing my father is still kicking my ass. When I think I got it handled, I find out I really don’t. Not really.

The plan is to keep “doing the things” until I feel better, or less terrible. I’m not picky. My dog saves me a lot. He’s on a new medicine for his allergies and it’s working really well. I can tell how much more comfortable he is without the inflammation in his ears and paws driving him crazy.

He is the best dog.

It seems like every night I drive home from work wishing I had the energy to complete the projects floating around in my head. Since the only project I can manage lately at home is loading and unloading the dishwasher, I end up feeling like a failure most days.

It gets better. It does. We do the best we can, until then.