February 2020 desktop wallpaper

If you remember, I wrote in my last post about how I set up a couple months worth of desktop wallpapers to share and here’s February. It’s a leap year too! My girlfriend’s daughter has a February 29th birthday, she about 6 now…and getting her Master’s in Psychology…ha!

Click here to download the February 2020 desktop wallpaper.

I’m juggling so many things since going back to work after the baby. Honestly, since her dad is on the road 4-5 weeks at a time I have to be “on” 24 hours a day.

Actual conversation:

Him: How many hours do you usually work now?

Me: Let’s see…all the hours. I literally work ALL the hours, everyday.

I drop the baby off at daycare each Monday and cry on my way to work. Really. She’ll be starting her 3rd month of daycare on Monday. On Fridays I just want to get her to daycare as soon as possible so that I can pick her up early and start our weekend together. When will I stop hating daycare, I wonder? Feels like never.

All my separation anxiety is compounded due to the fact that my little girl has been diagnosed with torticollis. We go to physical therapy every other Friday now, do daily stretching exercises and we have an appointment next Friday with a specialist to see if she will need to wear a helmet (like DOC Band). Her torticollis has caused positional plagiocephaly (a flat spot on one side of her head). I was devastated to hear all this from the pediatrician 3 weeks ago, blamed myself for not seeing it sooner (even though I was worried about her flat spot since she was born). I worry all the time that she’s not going to get better or that she’ll get worse somehow. Irrational fear is my specialty. I also get overwhelmed and sad. Everyone from the pediatrician to the physical therapist to other moms at my work say she’ll get better, it just takes time and it’s **not** my fault.

Sure. My brain won’t stop worrying about it though.

Then there’s the advice…get a “flat head” pillow from amazon, just put her to sleep on her belly, don’t do the helmet – everybody has a flat spot, so what?…

I’m not going to get to have another child so I’m just going to do exactly what the doctors say; lots of tummytime, no pillows/devices and put her to sleep on her back. o_O

My free time is pretty limited so I’m not sure when I’ll be able to update again. My baby girl is the best though, always happy and very sweet. Momma is just tired, ya’ll. Thanks for reading and if you have any experience with torticollis or “single” mommyhood feel free to leave a comment, or a bottle of wine – I’m not picky.