you are loved

Hi, my name is Aimee and I’m a germaphobe. I don’t shake hands, I have large dispensers of antibacterial gel at the ready in all spaces I regularly occupy (work, home, in the car and purse). When I get a scratch I wash it immediately then apply neosporin and bandaid. I keep 2 first aid kits. I have a no touching rule and don’t enjoy hugs.

Social distancing is not a chore for me. I’ve not left the house in 8 days and since I hate shopping and crowds I  buy soap, TP, and paper towels in bulk on the regular. Way before the crisis I was operating at low level zombie-apocalypse-ready mode. For a few months now my anxiety has been ratcheting up, I’ve voiced concern to family and coworkers…who all assured me that they were sure “it wasn’t going to get that bad” or “the virus only effects the elderly and those with underlying conditions” and “it’s just the flu, calm down.”

FFS

By the time the state and local governments caught up to my level of concern…I was exhausted and worried about those not taking this situation seriously…even though I explained (repeatedly) the strain a pandemic would put on our healthcare system. When I attempted to be proactive at the day job about remote working and procedure changes I was mocked or flat out told to just go home without pay if I needed to self-isolate. A week later…I’m working from home. Shit hit the fan real fast and now there’s a very real possibility of unemployment in the not so distant future.

Even though daycare centers have not been closed yet I pulled my 6 month old out of daycare last Friday. Now, 7 days later, we receive news of a study that shows the young are susceptible to the virus; those under 5 – especially infants are at risk for severe illness.

I will never doubt my gut/intuition or whatever you want to call it again. The population at large where I live (the 3rd largest city in Florida) is still not grasping the reality we are now living in…sure they are hoarding TP and apparently eggs…milk…meat etc. But that’s just reflexive panic, like we have a few days before a hurricane hits.

The short-sightedness of those around me despite my prodding terrifies me most…I want to scoop everyone up and keep them safe. My mom said not to worry about what we cannot control. There was a comment last month on a blog post that said replace doubt with love…so I’m focusing on that and counting to ten and controlling that which I’m able…so, please stay hydrated you guys…assume you are infected and stay at home. Be calm, and remember we have to work together to flatten the curve and protect not just ourselves but the vulnerable around us.

There’s work and the baby to tend to throughout the day but I’ve got to do something else beside worry and yell at the TV or Twitter. Maybe I’ll just post here more often. Guess I’ll see ya when I see ya. Stay safe and be well (hand over heart) you are loved. ♡

 

 

Photo by Jenna Christina on Unsplash