sketch therapy

In August I bought myself a small chunky sketch book with light brown kraft paper pages. Since then I’ve been choosing random pages in it to sketch people and animals. The first thing I drew was a horse, then some faces, then a frog and some more faces. I do use references sometimes, especially for…

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quiet not blind

Had a long talk with my Mom a couple days ago. It was nice. I vented a lot, maybe cried a little. She gave me a good pep talk; put me in the right direction, told me I’m the only one that can do it, nobody else can do it for me. Something someone else…

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an impeccable sadness

Struggling a bit lately. I need to be honest because not admitting I’m feeling wobbly means staying stuck. I’m angry with myself, overthinking, overly critical, unsure about how best to push through so I’m taking things a day at a time, sometimes half a day. I’m frustrated and tired. “Depression is an impeccable sadness.” I…

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let the rain fall

It’s been a very stormy day, I woke up to thunder and heavy rain and was glad. I like it when the weather matches my mood. Sometimes it seems like we’re rushed through our sadness or, worse, encouraged to ignore it altogether. Isn’t it better, though, to recognize our sadness for what it is? Sadness…

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between-space

“I will write more!” **two months later** Things have been strange/difficult the last two months and that’s not always the best time to post on the blog. Plus, I’m tired. We’re all a bit tired, I’m sure. The internet and social media is mucking me up. Detaching from the feeds and scheduling my time online…

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sometimes always

So far…January hasn’t been too bad, considering the all the crap we have to look forward to…sorry, that sounded a bit negative, didn’t it? Most of the time I prefer not to be negative in this space, if it’s not constructive or funny I’ll usually just keep it to myself. Which accounts for the gaps…

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miracles

I know sometimes it can feel like we get up just so we can fall down again – and that the process of getting up can seem to take forever…because we are human and can only heal so much at a time. Even while we heal we are fending off new threats to our well-being;…

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you are here

We made it to September! Hooray for small miracles, am I right? Today was a decent day. Jacksonville just narrowly avoided Hermine (tropical storm?). Only a little bit scary around 4am this morning when the wind howled and debris grazed the side of my tiny townhouse. Don’t be fooled though, there’s plenty of things left…

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until then

August is mostly a difficult month for me as far as work goes. It’s the month that the workload picks back up at the day job and it’s the month that I work on a few labor intensive contract jobs. I’m almost at the finish line for the contracts, and I’m very grateful. I’m completely…

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if I fall

This week finding the right words has been difficult for me. My Dad passed away and I am feeling all “these things”; frustrated that I cannot put words on all of it. I’m not dreaming anymore. Not even the nightmares. Not for days. It’s unsettling. Grief, itself, has a unique strangeness. It grabs you and…

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